Third Hospital Appointment - Part 2

Part one of our appointment is over. It's now time to talk about reconstruction.

We were told to do a bit of reading around the subject after the previous week's appointment but to be honest, I was struggling to get past the whole "I have cancer" issue so I didn't really look into it. My cousin mentioned in passing that a friend of hers had "expanders in" and hated them (I'll explain later) but that reconstruction was a really positive thing, and she had it done immediately post mastectomy.

There are several things for us to consider:

• Do I want a new breast?
• Do we have recon done straight away?
• Do we have delayed recon?

There are good and bad points to consider for everything. Firstly, do I want a new breast? Initially, I say yes of course, but what I've forgotten to tell you is that I'm terrified of having a GA so the idea of turning a 1-2hr op which is a day patient procedure (if it's a straight mastectomy and sentinel lymph node test) into a 4-6 hr op followed by minimum 3 night stay does rather put me off. Am I ready for that?

During discussions with Mr Pain we also realise that I have to have the Sentinel Lymph Node test under GA, which means I either have to have that in advance of my mastectomy, or at the same time, at which point I can't have full recon done, but could have an expander put in to stretch the skin. Phew. Complicated.

We also then realise that as I'm still breastfeeding, even if I were to stop immediately, assuming a waiting time of 3 weeks for the op, I still wouldn't be back to my "normal shape" (if such a thing even exists after having two children) therefore the plastic surgeon would probably not want to take me on as they would like to get them to match 100%.

So, by process of elimination, my decision is suddenly made a wee bit easier. Effectively it comes down to whether or not I want to have a temporary implant. At this point, we're shattered, emotional and have taken in a lot of information, so decide to think overnight and call the Breast Care nurse Kit in the morning to let her know what we've decided. If we want to look at a temporary implant we need to do so ASAP as the emphasis is still on getting the lump out before the end of the month.

One last piece of good news that I get before we leave, is that if I wish to continue to breastfeed then they will be supportive, barring any need for chemo/drug treatment. I know it might sound daft to some of you, but I was desperately upset about possibly having to stop, so this was a huge relief. 

Obviously, I'm going to have to stop feeding on the side that's coming off pretty shortly, in order to reduce the blood flow to that area as it would make the job more complicated for the surgeon, but the fact that I actually have a choice in the matter now makes it all much easier to digest.

On the way home, we stop for lunch and have a couple of glasses of Prosecco - to us, it feels like a celebration. It's like getting my life back in a way - I had assumed that the news was going to be so much worse.

The barmaids are intrigued by our lunchtime drinking and ask for the reason for the celebration. I don't have it in me to tell them the whole truth, so we just say that we've had news that wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be and leave it at that.

Besides which, I'm still in control freak mode about deciding who should/shouldn't know, and in a local pub,  the walls have ears.....