Panic stations

As you can imagine, the days after that first hospital appointment were pretty grim. I had to go into work the following day and it was extremely hard not bursting into tears at every moment. None of what was flashing through my mind was very original - wanting to be around to see my children grow up, wanting to spend the rest of my life with my husband, and so forth. 

Underlying all of that is of course the hope that it isn't cancer - it could still just be scar tissue, or a cyst, or.....something.....

I am extremely lucky in that not only do I have a hugely supportive and brilliant husband I also have a fabulous online support network who shall be referred to as the DW Mafia! The were and continue to be wonderful.

I spent a lot of time worrying about the initial results, but decided not to tell anyone except my inlaws (who live on the farm with us) and the DW Mafia. For me, keeping things as normal as possible is key to keeping my sanity, and of course not wanting to upset the children.

My poor parents were kept in the dark - they live on the other side of the country, and we decided that there was no point worrying people unnecessarily.

Our next appointment was booked for the 1st August, and until then we are on tenterhooks.