Having finally confessed and told my parents and boss, I decided now that we knew the operation date, it was time to tell my colleagues. If nothing else I was fed up with the endless speculation and queries as to why I'd had some days off. Those that know me know I'm a bit of a workaholic, but in a way it was a bit irritating that everyone naturally assumed I was pregnant.....particularly bearing in mind the fact that although it was extremely unlikely before diagnosis, I now felt that my theoretical third child would now merely be a mythical one. I am irrationally sad about this, but a bit like the initial pressure to stop breastfeeding it's all about having your choices taken away from you.
Anyway, I digress.
I run our auction rooms so the first people in the firm I told other than my boss were the ones I work with on a day to day basis. Everyone was of course lovely, but upset for me. I think that men find it particularly hard - it must be all the references to breasts....
Secondly, I told our nearest non auction office, which is where I used to be based. That was by far the worst as I am sure that when my boss asked everyone to congregate so that I could make an announcement they all thought I was about to announce another pregnancy. There were hugs and tears, but strangely not mine. Perhaps I'm becoming harder, or stronger?
It might be of course because I have no tears left. So far I feel like I have faced the worst, the not knowing, and now I am out the other side. Well, bar the small matter of my mastectomy, but I'm "too busy" to worry about it for now - my parents are visiting in a few days and I need to get the house finished.
More denial? Perhaps, but frankly, whatever works.
No comments:
Post a Comment