Sunday, 27 January 2013

So near but yet so far....

What are we, day 4 post chemo? Something like that.

I really thought I had managed to avoid the side effects this time, but it is fair to say that I have well and truly learnt otherwise.

Thursday, felt dicey and wobbly, but not sick. Heart racing a bit and very tired but put that down to anti-emetics. Dragged myself out for a small walk but otherwise did very very little. 

Friday, had to do more due to planned weekend activities, but managed to push myself and go for a longer walk (but fortunately not unaccompanied - not even I am that stupid at the minute), didn't feel too awful other than tiredness. Managed to get food preparation done and a cake cooked, but not really hard work - not like I'm used to.

Saturday, we were shooting, and I felt okay, so I did manage to stay outside all day as one friend kindly had the biggest child, and the smallest was ably looked after by a combination of all the guns (who pushed the pushchair in the snow) and another wonderful friend in the afternoon. Lots of dizzy spells, but all in all not too awful or so I thought.

Saturday evening was lovely - the benefit of having a houseful is that everyone pitches in, helps, and I think that a fun time was had by all. Certainly, I did and it really perked me up having everyone there. 

Saturday night/early Sunday morning, and all of today though has been agony. Joint pain, mouth and throat pain (ulcers forming, I think/just generally the lining of my mouth and throat seems to be on fire) - I can genuinely say that I'm in as much pain as I was when someone drove into my car last year. Not entertained.

I've even been back to bed. Twice.  And I haven't been for a walk at all, which is rather unusual for me to say the least.

I am ridiculously disappointed, which I know is ridiculous, as I achieved so much yesterday, but it has totally set me back and to be honest, scared me a bit. 

Sorry, I know I'm wallowing, but it even hurts to blink.

My poor husband has really had to struggle to get anything done work wise today - fortunately the children have been able to go out and help to do pigs as the snow has gone, but he's going to have a long week next week. [Sigh]. 

I know it isn't forever, but I am rather a drain on resources today.....


  1. Oh love. It's really hard when you are trying to get on with life in amongst all the rubbish. But you have to try and do things little and often and accept that this is how things are - just for now. You,are doing amazingly well. Remember that.