Saturday, 16 November 2013

What a roller coaster......

Following Wednesday's hard hitting news, I found myself in rather a glum mood on Thursday and Friday, which wasn't too surprising really. My Onc Doctor rang on the Thursday and expressed his concern about my results, advising me that he was going to speak to my cardiologist but had cancelled my treatment......

I had an appointment for work in Southwold on Friday morning and, I will freely admit, I sobbed most of the way there. 

I picked up an answer phone message when I arrived at the property I was visiting, which was from my oncology consultant. Apparently there was a "big" inter-departmental meeting about me on Friday morning and lots of people have reviewed my echocardiogram. What it is to be popular.

The result of that meeting is that they have decided that while my EF has dropped, it doesn't seem to be as bad as they first thought, and is above 50% at least, so I can continue with treatment. 

I am of course delighted, but terrified in almost equal measure as things still need to improve heart wise. At least after next Thursday's session I will be half way through it. 

Talk about stress though. It would be so nice just to have a quiet week, with nothing more to worry about than whether we can get the children to school and nursery on time or not. 

So, I shall start again next week, hopefully on a more positive note and try to keep my terror under wraps. 

Thank you all for the positive vibes and kind messages. They are hugely appreciated.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

First hair cut, but also some more serious news....

It isn't that slow a news day, (sadly I have more to tell you) but I thought I would give you the exciting news that finally, my hair has grown enough that it was worth getting it cut and coloured. I now look far less like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards, and look far more respectable. I have had lots of people tell me how much it suits me, but I am not convinced! For now, it will do and the fact that it is all growing back nicely and that I even have some eyebrows and eyelashes is enough.

Sadly, a seriously amazing lady that I met last year and who has inspired me throughout my treatment died last week, at the age of 30. I am still in shock actually. Last time I saw her she was eventing, despite being in immense pain. It seems to have been so quick. The funeral is next Friday, 22nd and fortunately I have been able to rearrange cover for my auction in order that I can go. Whilst I didn't know Alex that well, her attitude and ability to be positive was just astounding, and I will strive to be more like that.

However, after having an extremely long day today I am really struggling with that positive mental attitude. 

I had a good session with my plastic surgeon and have, potentially, booked my reconstruction surgery for the end of May next year. This should coincide with the end of Herceptin, so my portacath can be removed at the same time.

Unfortunately, I got some news this morning which has made me feel less excited about the surgery, and more well, downhearted. 

I had an echocardiogram to check my ejection fraction, as I have had several times before, only this time, we found that it has dropped to below 50%. Well, in fact it is 48%. 

I don't yet know what the full ramifications are yet, but it is extremely unlikely that I will be allowed my next treatment which is scheduled for next week. I sure that I will skip one and had a six week gap but I am not sure and won't know until I see my oncologist next Wednesday. I should have seen him today after the echo, but put him back to I could see the plastic surgeon. Whoops. 

I am trying not to panic. I have had 8 Herceptin drips, which is virtually half, but I am not sure how much this will alter my prognosis. I am not the first person this has happened to, nor will I be the last but I had so hoped it wouldn't happen. 

Frankly it is bloody scary.

So, until I have seen my consultant next week I shall remain active, but possibly slow down the power walking a bit which is annoying as it had been going really well..... Priorities though. There's plenty of time for training later......