It's like being back at school...

There's so much to learn! At least, it feels like it today.

The next and possibly last batch of results from the Axilla Node Clearance (ANC) come back on Wednesday, and my appointment is confirmed as being 10.10 am.

I have been merrily wandering around this week thinking that my results won't make much difference. After all, the cancer diagnosis isn't going to disappear so what will change? Having done rather a lot of reading, I'm feeling slightly more scared. At the moment, we know that 2 out of the 3 Sentinel nodes taken tested positive, which indicates a possible spread. Assuming that no more test positive, I'll be dancing. If I do have any more nodes that are positive, it will make things more serious.

In preparation for my meeting, I've been reading the NICE guidelines and latest quality statement on breast cancer treatment. A conversation with my breast care nurse spooked me earlier this week - I'm sure she mentioned something about a waiting list for chemo. I can't wait. I don't want to wait. I want to start the drugs, to get better, to start being able to plan my life again.

I want......doesn't get.

It's not worth crying over but I hate the build up to these bloody appointments.