4 down, 2 to go!!

And so far, I don't feel like utter tripe, which is both a huge relief and very scary! Daft, I know, but I am so used to feeling rubbish so soon it's making me a bit nervous - when is it going to "get me", and how?

For now, I'm going to make the most of it and try and get outside for a walk today as it isn't yet snowing or freezing again yet. Then I might catch a nap before the children come home, and get another early night.

I fell asleep during chemo yesterday, in full view of the nurses desk which was, apparently, most entertaining! I'm sure I can blame it on copious amounts of sedatives.

Yesterday's session was okay - hectic, but okay. It did make me a bit on edge that I had to be stationed right in front of the nurses station this time - apparently this is because it is quite a nasty drug and as it's only one, via drip (as opposed to 3 drugs injected into the drip) no one stays with you the whole time, so you need to be visible and more easily accessible for a stretcher if needed......(Frick!)

Hey ho. Pillows, not stretcher needed, and we were in and out in a little over 4.5hrs. As soon as I got home I went to bed (5.30) and woke at 4.30 briefly, then about 6 I think and was up for the day.

The steroids (Dexamethosone) are behaving so far (phew) but as instructed by my GP I'm on as few calories as possible to try and avoid unnecessary weight gain. Frankly, I don't feel like eating much, but I think it is more of a case of trying desperately to ignore the carb cravings.....

Not much else is happening. My husband is, as always, being AMAZING and I have no idea how he is doing it, with everything else (work, children etc) that he has to cope with. I know he signed up for the whole "in sickness and in health" deal when we got married, but it's quite one thing saying it, and quite another having to deal with a loved one who is going through this tripe. I sure as hell don't know how he sits there watching me being pumped full of chemo in such a calm fashion, along with dealing with the sickness, stroppiness (which I really do try to keep a lid on but sometimes the stress does get to me), tiredness, and of course, he's having to pick up a lot of the housework pieces and childcare. 

Darling, if you are reading this, words can never really completely properly and utterly explain how grateful I am, and what an inspiration you and the children are to me. Hopefully, I'll be able to make it all up to you when all of this is over. Don't forget, that trip to Vegas and surrounds for our joint 40th is in the diary.

All my love, to my wonderful husband, parents, children and everyone else I haven't mentioned (there are very many),

Rebecca x